Ask yourself if you have anything to worry about right now? Are you anxious at this moment? Not tomorrow, not an hour ago, now. No, I didn’t think you were. You have just had a taste of being present. If you want to learn how to eliminate stress from your life, to have better relationships with others and most of all, a greater connectedness with yourself…learning to focus on the present is a powerful technique to do so. When I first heard the expression being present, I didn’t know what it meant? But I have discovered since then, that it is one of most powerful distressors you can ever use. It simply means that you give your full attention to the situation or person in front of you right now.

If you ever slow down and check your thought processes you will notice that you probably spend vast amounts of time brooding on the past and maybe even more speculating about the future. This all means that you are not paying attention to the very task or person in front of you that needs to be attended to. If you are obsessed with the past or wondering about the future it is very easy to miss the opportunity, the delight and joy that are right in front of you. Speculation can cause great mental suffering. To paraphrase Benjamin Franklin, I’ve been through some terrible things in my life….some of which actually happened.

In fact, if you watch your own thought processes, it’s interesting to observe how we can rapidly concoct a whole saga from random incidents. Next time you try on a garment in a shop and it doesn’t fit, watch how your thought processes can rapidly move from “it doesn’t fit” to “I’m fat and ugly” to “No one will ever love me” in the space of milliseconds and the suffering that causes you.

Being present doesn’t mean that you stop wanting to achieve and be ambitious.

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We’ve all had it…two weeks of sun, sand, sangria and whatever you are having yourself. No thoughts of work (unless you are self-employed…and in that case work is rarely far away!). And then here comes Monday again, the dreary routine, same old ding-dong and your heart sinks….” is this it?” you ask yourself. Well, here are some tips to change how you feel after coming back from the holidays.

1. Admission: Just admit that you feel despondent and squashed after coming back from your holidays. But it will pass. Notice the feeling rather than trying to deny or change it. It is what it is.
2. Clear the backlog: With the advent of e-mail, voice messaging and technology, the chances are you will have a backlog to clear. Let people know that you have a backlog to clear, and let them know you will deal with their issues when that has been done.
3. Short week: A good idea is to choose your days so that the first week back is a short one. This will make the transition easier.
4. Make the change: Often when we are on holidays, we can more clearly see what changes we need to make at work. (That might include looking for a new job!) Identify one small step you can take today to begin implementing that change. Take another small step tomorrow.
5. Prioritize your self-care: Identify ways in which you can begin to take better care of yourself at work. This could include drinking more water, staying away from toxic people, saying NO more often, having a major declutter of your work area.
6. Overcome overwhelm: One of the most powerful enemies of feeling calm and delivering good work is feeling overwhelmed. Two ways in which you can tackle overwhelm are: (a) stop, close your eyes and take a rest for 3-5 minutes.

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Why not take some time this year during the quiet days after Christmas to identify what you really want to achieve in 2009? Make it real, concrete, achievable and imagine what it will be like this time next year knowing you have achieved these goals. Use the following points as a way to get ready for a brilliant 2009.

1. Acknowledge the previous year’s achievements: So few of us take the time to acknowledge and amaze ourselves at how much we have done over the previous 12 months. Take the time to write down what you are proud of, how you have grown, what you have learned, and then read it over. Surprise yourself!
2. Fewer Goals: Only choose 3-5 goals at the most. If you feel as though there are so many areas of your life where you want to set goals, fine. You can focus on the other areas next year. Choose 3-5 areas where you want to set goals. This is setting yourself up for success.
3. Make it specific: It’s not much good saying you want to lose weight. If you lost one pound over the year, you have met that goal! No, make it specific (e.g.,  I want to lose 15 lbs and add a deadline.
4. Benefits of achieving this goal: You need to write down at least three benefits of achieving this goal. Keep it near you so that when you falter, this will keep you going.
5. Failure is not an option. It’s inevitable.  A Japanese proverb says: “Fall down seven times; stand up eight times.” Of course you are going to slip, make mistakes and not always do what you want. Accept that as the reality. Then, ask yourself how you are going to get back on track. Don’t waste time on beating yourself up, it’s pointless, and will not get you to your goal any quicker. 
6. Write them down, write them down, write them down.

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Yep, folks, it’s that time again - a time to set resolutions which we seem to assume we won’t keep, a time to think about really getting the job of our dreams. Here are some ideas/steps for making 2009 the best year of your career. So, why not take 2-3 hours to think about how you can make 2009 the year of your career. 

Acknowledge the Accomplishments of 2008

Begin by reviewing what really worked for you in 2008. What were your triumphs? What did you do that you were really proud of? Did you get a new account? Increase your sales? Streamline the systems in your job? What did you enjoy doing during the year? Identify the parts of the job that you really got a buzz out of. Write them all down. The chances are you will begin to remember triumphs and achievements that you had forgotten. Acknowledge them. Even if you think you had no triumphs–you survived without getting fired–that counts, as well.

        
Identify Your Strengths – Know What You are Good At

What do you do really well? What do you do so well that it’s effortless for you and you assume any plonker could do it? What do other people give you really positive feedback on? These are some keys to your strengths. Another useful way to identify your own strengths is to take some of the psychometric tests available. Some of the better known ones are: DISC, Myers-Briggs and the Enneagram. Do a google for any of them, and you should be able to do one online free or for a reasonable price. Self-knowledge is a key component of finding your dream career. Knowing what you are not so good at is useful, as well.

Where Can You Contribute? Make the Present Better

Given that it’s unlikely that you will have an invite on Monday morning to your new job, what can you do in the meantime to improve your contribution to your current position.

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When I began to write this article, I decided to go back to basics and check out the dictionary definition of “resolutions.”  I got “A thing resolved on, an intention.” To me, the word “intention” is preferable to “resolution.” Somehow intention resonates with the idea of “definitely going to do,” whereas “resolution” has more of an air of doing something because it is good for you, and that’s not always the most inspiring. So, I decided to focus on New Year Intentions. I think for intentions to work, they need to have the following three elements:

• Inspiring
• Achievable
• Get support

Inspiring, Not Perspiring

Have you ever noticed how some tasks can be done so easily and effortlessly at some times, and at other times–it’s like pulling teeth. The difference is inspiration. I believe inspiration comes when we are doing something that we feel really serves others and the wider world. So, when you choose this year’s intention, choose something that you feel will contribute to the benefit of others, not just yourself. Ask yourself where your passion lies–what would you do without getting paid for it?

Achievable – Make It Real
The first step in beginning to make your intention real is to take some time to actually visualise life AFTER the achievement of the goal. This could take a number of forms. For example, you could devise a treasure map (assemble pictures out of magazines and newspapers that represents your goal) in a scrapbook that you could look at every day. Another way would be to imagine yourself after you have achieved the goal. Write down what you are doing, how you are feeling - all in the present tense. Now, ask yourself what steps you could take to begin making this a reality. Also, begin thinking about what you could do AFTER you have achieved this goal.

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Yes folks it’s that time of the year again. A time when every aspect of popular culture tells us to be happy, loving and full of cheer and when many of us feel like ripping the head off our nearest and dearest. Here are some tips to help you get through Christmas if Mr. Claus is not one of your more cherished icons.

1. It’s OK NOT to like Christmas. Yep, it’s OK not to like Christmas. Acknowledge that you are probably in a (significant) minority, and remind yourself that it will all be over in two weeks’ time.
2. Claus-trophobia: No matter how one loves one’s parents and how mature and successful you are, secretly they think you are only 10, which inevitably leads to your inner 10 year old emerging in all sorts of interesting ways: re-enacting old sibling rivalry, fighting over the selection boxes, argy-bargy in the kitchen. Get in touch with your outer adult this year, and see if you can actually stop getting into a fight early on. Believe me, you will feel a lot better!
3. Drink less than you did last year: You will feel better, you won’t have to try to remember what you said in Sean in Accounts, you will have fewer hangovers and you will spend less, which brings me to the next point.
4. Christmas presents: Do you remember what you got last year? Do you remember what you gave last year? Nope, me neither. Why not do a Kris Kindle with your family, set a budget and ask people for 3-5 things they would like. It’s also OK to buy the cheaper boxes of biscuits for visiting relatives.  (Yes, it is really no matter what your mother says!). And why not consider asking for one of the gift packs given by Bóthar or Trocaire.

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Yes, folks it’s that time of year again in which we will be expected to spend 20 million euros an hour on Christmas Eve in Ireland alone. Yep, that’s right, AN HOUR. Of course a substantial chunk of that will be on credit and many of us will be dreading our January credit card bills: I spent HOW MUCH. Ouch. So how can we enjoy Christmas without giving ourselves the January hangover? Here are some tips to ensure that January is not the cruelest credit card month for you.

1. Make a list (check it twice if you want to). Decide who you are going to buy for and how much you are going to spend. Add it up and see if it’s an amount you can realistically afford. If not, review it. Make allowances for having to buy the guilt gifts…you know when someone (not on the list) buys you something…
2. Do a blitz shop. Set aside a day to do as much of the shopping as possible and then aim to get 80% of the shopping done. Try not to let yourself get distracted by stuff you’d love to get for yourself. Set aside another time for that.
3. Family Kris Kringle. For the last few years, we have decided to buy one other family member a gift and set a budget. We’ve also asked people for some ideas as to what they would like…3-5 if possible so that we are not frantically running around trying to think of something. See if you can do something like that in your family. Instant stress reduction.
4. Use the Internet. Just think, you could sit at your PC and organise the direct delivery of a good load of your presents (and probably cheaper than the shops). Go for reliable websites like Amazon or Ebay if you still feel a bit mistrustful.
5. Time instead of money. Why not offer to babysit for some of your overworked parent friends?  An offer to babysit for half a day is priceless to working parents.  Or offer to help someone with a task of their choice.

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Week 1
Motivation…choose something that will remind you of why you are embarking on this change. It could be a photograph of a slimmer, healthier you. It could be a reward you plan to give yourself when you have achieved the first step of your weight.

You could choose a slogan for your campaign..my health is my wealth for example. Locate your reminders where you will see them often. You could even choose to create an album of songs that you can listen to that will keep your energy and enthusiasm up!

Week 2
Keeping it up…have you had your first failure yet? When it happens, mentally shake it off and start all over again. Ask yourself what can you learn from your mistake? Choose to observe yourself rather than launching into a mental tirade about what a fat ugly failure you are. Acknowledge all the good choices you have made over the last number of days. Are you going to let one slip negate all your good work? You can do it, but remember to do it just for today…every day.

Week 3
Getting support…nothing great was ever achieved alone. Find someone who has walked this path and ask them for their help. Buddy up with someone who wants to live a healthier lifestyle. Agree to meet them in order to go to the gym or walking. It’s often easier to keep a commitment to another than to ourselves. Consider joining Weight Watchers or Unislim or one of the many other organisations around the country. You could even use the Internet to locate a programme to help you.

Week 4
Inspiration: Go back to your motivation. Acknowledge your progress and be amazed as you steadily change your eating habits and lifestyle. If you have just begun to exercise regularly the day will come when exercise will be a treat, not a torture!

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