When I began to write this article, I decided to go back to basics and check out the dictionary definition of “resolutions.”  I got “A thing resolved on, an intention.” To me, the word “intention” is preferable to “resolution.” Somehow intention resonates with the idea of “definitely going to do,” whereas “resolution” has more of an air of doing something because it is good for you, and that’s not always the most inspiring. So, I decided to focus on New Year Intentions. I think for intentions to work, they need to have the following three elements:

• Inspiring
• Achievable
• Get support

Inspiring, Not Perspiring

Have you ever noticed how some tasks can be done so easily and effortlessly at some times, and at other times–it’s like pulling teeth. The difference is inspiration. I believe inspiration comes when we are doing something that we feel really serves others and the wider world. So, when you choose this year’s intention, choose something that you feel will contribute to the benefit of others, not just yourself. Ask yourself where your passion lies–what would you do without getting paid for it?

Achievable – Make It Real
The first step in beginning to make your intention real is to take some time to actually visualise life AFTER the achievement of the goal. This could take a number of forms. For example, you could devise a treasure map (assemble pictures out of magazines and newspapers that represents your goal) in a scrapbook that you could look at every day. Another way would be to imagine yourself after you have achieved the goal. Write down what you are doing, how you are feeling – all in the present tense. Now, ask yourself what steps you could take to begin making this a reality. Also, begin thinking about what you could do AFTER you have achieved this goal.

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Yes folks it’s that time of the year again. A time when every aspect of popular culture tells us to be happy, loving and full of cheer and when many of us feel like ripping the head off our nearest and dearest. Here are some tips to help you get through Christmas if Mr. Claus is not one of your more cherished icons.

1. It’s OK NOT to like Christmas. Yep, it’s OK not to like Christmas. Acknowledge that you are probably in a (significant) minority, and remind yourself that it will all be over in two weeks’ time.
2. Claus-trophobia: No matter how one loves one’s parents and how mature and successful you are, secretly they think you are only 10, which inevitably leads to your inner 10 year old emerging in all sorts of interesting ways: re-enacting old sibling rivalry, fighting over the selection boxes, argy-bargy in the kitchen. Get in touch with your outer adult this year, and see if you can actually stop getting into a fight early on. Believe me, you will feel a lot better!
3. Drink less than you did last year: You will feel better, you won’t have to try to remember what you said in Sean in Accounts, you will have fewer hangovers and you will spend less, which brings me to the next point.
4. Christmas presents: Do you remember what you got last year? Do you remember what you gave last year? Nope, me neither. Why not do a Kris Kindle with your family, set a budget and ask people for 3-5 things they would like. It’s also OK to buy the cheaper boxes of biscuits for visiting relatives.  (Yes, it is really no matter what your mother says!). And why not consider asking for one of the gift packs given by Bóthar or Trocaire.

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Yes, folks it’s that time of year again in which we will be expected to spend 20 million euros an hour on Christmas Eve in Ireland alone. Yep, that’s right, AN HOUR. Of course a substantial chunk of that will be on credit and many of us will be dreading our January credit card bills: I spent HOW MUCH. Ouch. So how can we enjoy Christmas without giving ourselves the January hangover? Here are some tips to ensure that January is not the cruelest credit card month for you.

1. Make a list (check it twice if you want to). Decide who you are going to buy for and how much you are going to spend. Add it up and see if it’s an amount you can realistically afford. If not, review it. Make allowances for having to buy the guilt gifts…you know when someone (not on the list) buys you something…
2. Do a blitz shop. Set aside a day to do as much of the shopping as possible and then aim to get 80% of the shopping done. Try not to let yourself get distracted by stuff you’d love to get for yourself. Set aside another time for that.
3. Family Kris Kringle. For the last few years, we have decided to buy one other family member a gift and set a budget. We’ve also asked people for some ideas as to what they would like…3-5 if possible so that we are not frantically running around trying to think of something. See if you can do something like that in your family. Instant stress reduction.
4. Use the Internet. Just think, you could sit at your PC and organise the direct delivery of a good load of your presents (and probably cheaper than the shops). Go for reliable websites like Amazon or Ebay if you still feel a bit mistrustful.
5. Time instead of money. Why not offer to babysit for some of your overworked parent friends?  An offer to babysit for half a day is priceless to working parents.  Or offer to help someone with a task of their choice.

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Week 1
Motivation…choose something that will remind you of why you are embarking on this change. It could be a photograph of a slimmer, healthier you. It could be a reward you plan to give yourself when you have achieved the first step of your weight.

You could choose a slogan for your campaign..my health is my wealth for example. Locate your reminders where you will see them often. You could even choose to create an album of songs that you can listen to that will keep your energy and enthusiasm up!

Week 2
Keeping it up…have you had your first failure yet? When it happens, mentally shake it off and start all over again. Ask yourself what can you learn from your mistake? Choose to observe yourself rather than launching into a mental tirade about what a fat ugly failure you are. Acknowledge all the good choices you have made over the last number of days. Are you going to let one slip negate all your good work? You can do it, but remember to do it just for today…every day.

Week 3
Getting support…nothing great was ever achieved alone. Find someone who has walked this path and ask them for their help. Buddy up with someone who wants to live a healthier lifestyle. Agree to meet them in order to go to the gym or walking. It’s often easier to keep a commitment to another than to ourselves. Consider joining Weight Watchers or Unislim or one of the many other organisations around the country. You could even use the Internet to locate a programme to help you.

Week 4
Inspiration: Go back to your motivation. Acknowledge your progress and be amazed as you steadily change your eating habits and lifestyle. If you have just begun to exercise regularly the day will come when exercise will be a treat, not a torture!

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I love my children and I know they love me.  In fact they love me so much they’ve been sharing all their germs with me. This time I’ve lost my voice and have an ear infection.

This all came about during a recent trip out to LA to attend Ali Brown’s last ever Online Business Success Workshop. Not only did I come away with some amazing marketing advice I also made some pretty big shifts with my own business which it seems is helping me get unstuck.

Have you ever reached that point where you know you should be moving ahead much more quickly than you are?

You feel like you are racing ahead but with the parking brake on.

Well, that’s how I’ve been feeling.  And being at the conference really opened my eyes to the possibilities for the next phase of my business.  But while my eyes have been opened, my throat and right ear have been closed.

It was half way through the conference that I got sick and lost my voice.  Everyone said it was a sign from the Universe.  I guess the Universe saw that I wasn’t responding to the quiet nudging and soft taps at my door so it needed to do something to shut me up and get my attention.

Ok, I’m listening.

Without my voice I have become aware of some interesting things.

1. People model our behavior.

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“We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” – Anonymous

Quite a statement, isn’t it? However, I have to say that I don’t totally agree with it. I don’t think we have to completely get rid of the life we have planned. I believe more that we should learn to actually live the life we have while we work towards the life we want. In other words, we must learn how to not let what we want entirely control the life that we are currently living. Rather, I believe we must embrace the present moment and love it for what it is.

I guess my point is that if we spend our life only focusing on what we want, we can miss all the wonderful things we presently have. I spent many years living that way and as I look back now, it makes me sad that I missed out on some wonderful opportunities to enjoy the moments that were before me. A wise man once told me that if I was waiting for the perfect time to act on something, I’d be waiting a long time because there’s no such thing.

How are you living your life right now? Are you always waiting for just the right time to do something in your life? Are you holding out for things to be perfect? Is everything you do centered on your career? Do you miss out on other joys in your life because you are allowing your job to control you?

Now I know that it is important to strive for success. And I know that often it requires many long hours and hard work. But don’t wait until things are just the way you want them before you take the time to enjoy other aspects of your life. I want to encourage you to think about how you can live and enjoy the life you currently have while you work towards the life that you desire. It’s time to balance your life.

The first step is simple really; you must decide you want to change. And you must commit to making an effort to change.

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Most people would agree that the concept of a job today is vastly different from that of 20 years ago. Organisations are changing at speed, technology has changed the face and pace of work, and globalisation is pushing every business to examine it’s operations in a totally different context.

How do we, the people that work within this changing environment, manage our own needs and wants.

Over the last 10 years I have had contact with many individuals searching for their place in the working world. For many, a growing sense of dissatisfaction with their work, or a general feeling that things aren’t as they should be, has left them with two questions to answer – “Why am I here?”, and “What would I really love to do for a job?”.

The concept of the ideal job is, I believe, fraught with danger. As long as we believe that there is a single job that will make us truly happy, then we are immediately limiting our actions and beliefs in searching for it. We set ourselves up for failure with expectations that the answer will “come” to us, or that a job needs to be perfect.

The truth is that there is rarely a single outcome in the search for the ideal job. A career is only a part of a lifestyle – a lifestyle encompasses all aspects of our life. Those who consider their career in isolation of their desired lifestyle may end up making less than ideal job-related choices.

So is it really about planning a career, or is it more about planning a lifestyle, of which work/career is one component?

A clearly structured process will help you to define the parameters of work that are important for you, rather than specific jobs. For example, preferred industries, work type (full or part time etc), working hours, travel, level of autonomy or team work, desired income, responsibility, skills you want to use, location and so on.

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It’s a common problem and we’ve all seen it – business owners that are just ‘too busy’ all of the time, and as a result, do not enjoy the success in business they had hoped for. Let’s not kid ourselves, there is a lot to focus on: technology, employees, sales, marketing and so on. These functions are essential and need to be well organised and managed.

But there is a second aspect to business success that is often overlooked – the effectiveness of the person running the show. Businesses are a reflection of the people who run them. If those people are ‘too busy’, stressed, or poorly organised, then these characteristics are reflected back in the business. The underlying behaviour and values of the business owner drive how much control they need, how they will delegate and how they use their time.

Growth of the business and the business owner need to match up
Any business that does not grow will ultimately decline. This may sound black and white but it is true. Growth can mean different things depending on the owner. For some it may be growth in revenues, for others it may be expanding product lines, or increasing the distribution channels. Whatever the definition of growth is, if it is not well thought out and planned, the business will soon become marginal and eventually fail, dragging the owner with it.

If the business is to grow, then the owner has to take the necessary time to learn the new roles and skills that a growing business will demand. Imagine for one moment where you would like your business to be in 5 years time. Then ask yourself: “Is it possible that I can be exactly the same person in 5 years that I am today and fulfil that growth strategy for my business? The answer has to be no. Business owners need to be prepared for new learning and taking on new, different, and bigger responsibilities – without fear or hesitation.

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We can all get in a rut from time to time. Who hasn’t had a moment in their lives where you’ve asked yourself the question: “Why am I doing this?” Whether it’s who you’ve become, the business you are in, your career, relationships, where you live or all of the above – sometimes you realise you’re just not where you want to be – and you’re not sure how you got there! It sure feels like your own version of a rat race though.

If where you want to be in your life is not where you are, then maybe it’s time for you to drop out of your very own rat race. We are conditioned into believing that we must continue to strive, to take more on, and to do more, in order to be “successful”. But this is a limited and ultimately self-defeating definition. If we can only be more successful by what and how much we do, then we have created our own treadmills to run on.

1. Redefine Success
Redefining success for yourself can be the first step in taking a fresh perspective. Try this exercise by completing the following sentence. “ I know I am successful when…….” You may not complete the sentence with anything to do with work or material goods. Here are some examples. I know I am successful when….

…I laugh every day with my children

…I bounce out of bed enthusiastically every morning

…all of my relationships give me great joy

…I inspire others to make positive changes

By redefining what we believe makes us successful, we begin to strive for different things in our lives. This can be instrumental in slowing down the treadmill enough for us to take stock of where we are.

2. Spring clean your mind
If you feel as though you don’t have time for anything, especially thinking about ways to do things differently, it’s time for a time-out.

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Worrying causes us to sleep fitfully. Here are some ways you can stop the worrying and sleep better during these tough economic times.

1. You will sleep better if you feel as though you have accomplished something, educate yourself about your business, read books, trade magazines, newspapers and attend any seminars or online tele-seminars and webinars that you can. Make it a point to do one thing each day to educate yourself. Pursue some cross-training to make yourself more valuable to your organization.

2. Network and make contacts online and offline: Networking will keep you in everyone’s minds, also if you end up losing your job you will have a slew of business cards of others in the business that you can contact to work with during hard times.

3. Build your online presence: With a website, blog, newsletter or articles. Join online networking groups that relate to what you do, mentor someone or find a mentor, visit Craig’s list or other online portals.

4. Learn more about jobs that are recession proof, industries such as food, energy, vices (tobacco), entertainment, medical services, debt collection, security or alarm services. Are any of these things something you could implement into your job or use as a part time job avenue?

5. Build value: Offer a buy one get one deal or buy one get something at 50% off. This increases your sales, where someone might have only purchased one item, with a deal like that it seems almost foolish to them not to take advantage of the deal and therefore purchase more from you.

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On November 19, 2005, a day after having surgery, I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma cancer. I would compare receiving the news to going to the dentist and being numbed. However, this numbed my whole body. For 20 minutes I rushed through all kinds of thoughts and emotions – shock, anger, “why me?” questions, sadness.

After the 20 minutes, I made a big decision. I decided to live. I decided that all of the emotions and thoughts I was experiencing were not supporting me. I decided right then and there to switch my mind and all actions to that of support and complete cure. At that moment, I was cured.

On January 31, 2006 I received my 33rd and final daily radiation treatment. I am now cancer free. I did not need the doctor to declare that for me; I had already made that decision from the day of diagnosis. I had even told my doctor that at my first appointment.

My whole life I have believed in the power of the mind. The ability to create your outer life from thoughts and emotions from within are undeniable. Nothing is as powerful as your personal philosophy in life. The good news is that your personal philosophy is simply decided by you and your own free will.

In my lifetime, I have been both poor and rich. I have had both sad and happy times. I have lived through tragedies and triumphs. One thing that has never wavered has been my mental approach to whatever has come towards me. Nothing can create wealth and abundance in any segment of a person’s life more than their attitudes and thoughts.

I have seen materially rich people with great poverty of mind and I have seen people in great struggles with an attitude of abundance. Wealth and possessions can flee in an instant, but nothing or nobody can take away your mind and your choice of thought.

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1. Leave your comfort zone:
Many people feel very comfortable and complacent in their comfort zone.  Comfort zone refers to those areas of work with which we are happiest or fastest at.  It is often observed that people bask in their previous glory and stop putting further efforts towards development. Thus, they breed a feeling of indifference within themselves and towards others around them.
 
2. Learning is a never-ending process:
This realisation could go a very long way in our process of self-development.  Let us remember that education and training is a time-bound process but this is not the case with learning.  One of the easiest ways to continue learning is to cultivate the reading habit.  This not only enriches your knowledge and skills but helps you to shape your personality and character.  Busy executives can spend travel time  by reading. It is often rightly said “A house without books is like a body without a soul”.
 
3. Attend seminars/conferences/workshops:
Many executives do so but more often than not the choice of the above depends on factors like location and comforts than on  contents.  We should study various seminar brochures and then decide on those courses which would be of greatest relevance and  value-addition to us.  We not only learn by listening to distinguished speakers but also learn by interacting with each other.  Further, the relationships so built, go a very long way in our process of self-development.  If the company cannot sponsor us for a course which we think would be useful, one should not hesitate to invest one’s own resources for self-enhancement.

4.

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To change your life, you must get rid of old thoughts and be able to accept some new ones.  One of the greatest truths is that you create your life with your thoughts.  Your thoughts are what make things happen.  Thoughts and words have power.

Each thought in your mind is the seed for everything you do, feel, or say.  Thoughts are what create our feelings.  If you want to feel happy you need to change your thoughts.  If you are feeling depressed, angry, jealous or sad you are the one that is causing you to feel that way with your negative thoughts.

You have more control over your thoughts than over anything else in your life.  When you are able to control your thoughts you will be able to control your world.

Thoughts create everything that happens to you.  Thoughts are what produce results in your life.  You will get more of whatever you focus your thoughts on.  Whatever you think about frequently will happen in your life.

If you focus your thoughts on lack of money, worrying about a certain event or about becoming sick, that is exactly what is going to happen.  You have a great power that needs to be used in the right way.  Drop your negative thoughts today like a hot potato!

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“You are not given a dream without the capacity to make it a reality.. Jonathan Livingstone Seagull.

This piece is about choosing where you are going to be in 1000 days (i.e., three year’s time). Before you sceptics come up with your “yeah, buts,” let me say that part of me agrees with you! I’m usually wary about the idea of having a grand plan knowing that plans and reality can be very different. Real life can sometimes turn out to be much better than our plans! But the idea behind this piece is to identify key areas in your life and to really visualise what you want in them. After all, this is about looking at who you would like to be 1000 days from now and making your fantasies a reality.

Step 1
The first part of this is actually writing down all the amazing, wonderful ambitions you have for various parts of your life. This is the first part of making them real. It may take a couple of days to do this. The end of a holiday is an excellent time to do this; the chances are you will feel relaxed, positive and more open to change. Then choose a quiet place to do this by yourself. Get some blank paper or open a new file on your computer. Then choose a page for each of the following areas: Career, Relationships, Money, Spirituality/Meaning, Health, Personal or whatever areas you want to create goals in. Write the heading at the top of each page. Then close your eyes and fantasise about what you really really want in each of these areas of your life. Write them in a series of bullet points. Leave the “yeah, buts” at the door. There will be time to look at them later! Then just write and write about what your ideals/fantasies would be under each of these areas. For example, under career you want to be earning 150,000 a year, running your own business, being a manager. Under personal goals, you could have that you want to visit Egypt. Do not censor yourself.

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We are frequently told about how we should ignore fear and go for what we want and to some extent that’s really true. However, I think fear (like ice-cream) has more than one flavor and some fears can actually help us. There are times when fear is appropriate…like when we are faced with physical danger or someone is threatening one of our nearest and dearest. I like to distinguish between four types of fear.

Raw, visceral fear: This is the fear we experience if a threat to our own lives or the lives of our loved ones is imminent. I believe most of us in the Western world will rarely experience this, except perhaps in a car crash. Our instincts bring us through this one.

Irrelevant fear: For example, I am afraid of jumping out of a helicopter or going skydiving. However I do not have the slightest desire to do either of those things so the fear does not impinge on me. To be honest, this is one fear I certainly wouldn’t be bothered trying to overcome!

Limiting fear: When most personal development experts talk about fear, this is the one they talk about…the fear that stops us doing the things that will help us bloom and grow…going for that interview, asking that man/woman out on a date, public speaking. We know it’s a limiting fear because while it feels visceral we also feel excited and wistful about the action. People experiencing this sort of fear say stuff like “I’d love to do X, Y or X but…” and feel envious of those who do embark on those tasks. Here are some ways to get around this fear…

• Get out of your head: Talk to some supportive people about it. Speak honestly about your fears…get the fear out of your head. If you do not have some people like this in your life…sit down and write what is in your head until it begins to repeat itself.

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So, you have got the job that everyone told you would be great. You are earning good money but there’s only one problem. You are not happy anymore. You want to do something else, but you realize that you have no idea what that “something” is. This article gives you clear simple steps to begin moving towards the job you were born to do! You can engage in the process by yourself but it’s probably more fun to do it with a friend or coach.

Identify What You Like and Dislike About the Jobs You Have Been In
The first step is to take some time out to discover what you have really enjoyed (and hated) in the jobs you have held so far. Give each job a heading and write down what you really enjoyed (if anything!) about each position and what you really did not like. If you have not held any positions you liked, identify what you really enjoy doing in your life. Come on, there must be something!

Design Your Ideal Job
Once you have identified what you really like doing, the next step is to write out a profile of your ideal job. Give yourself time to think about it. Use the following questions as prompters when you are doing this. Leave the “Yeah, buts” out for a while.

• What would you do if money was no object?
• What would you do if you knew you could not fail?
• Have you ever seen somebody do a job and say to yourself you’d love that job. If so, what was it?
• What did you really enjoy doing when you were a child?
• What TV programmes did you find inspirational? What in particular appealed to you about them?

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Here are some tips to help you stay on track with your food during the summer:

1. Cut yourself some…slack: Eating that extra bit of Ben & Jerry probably will not kill you (unless of course you are eating a piece of the original Ben & Jerry…in which case you have a whole different set of problems).
2. Face the feeling not the fridge: note your feelings when you eat emotionally (e.g., you eat in response to an emotion rather than physical hunger). Work on staying with the feeling rather than heading to the fridge…you won’t die.
3. Regular exercise: Exercise is one of those things that once you get used to…you will not be without. You feel good afterwards and it has the delightful side-effect of burning calories. Also bring your problems on a walk and notice how they have shrunk by the time you get home.
4. Does your weight give you permission to wait? Women often say “oh, I will leave the job/husband/country” when I lose weight. I hate to tell you but that’s just an excuse. Oprah Winfrey and Dawn French are both fat…and I don’t see them waiting around for permission to do the things that inspire and enthuse them. Go ahead, do the things that you love and give you joy…you may find that your weight begins to disappear as you begin to love your life.

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Do you work in a pressurized environment? Do you feel as though there are never enough hours in the day? Do you feel as though you make bad choices and decisions because you are under stress? If so, you are not on your own. According to a report by Robert Murphy of Farrell Grant Sparks , 82% of respondents felt they had to work very hard and 38% felt they never had enough time to get everything done. A quarter of workers report that they always or frequently find their work stressful and that it impacts on their home life.

So what could be done to eliminate your stress? One thing that strikes me about a lot of the stuff written on stress is that it focuses on what your employer should do – that could mean you are waiting for a very long time…they are probably too stressed themselves! So let’s look at what YOU can do to eliminate your stress.

1. One thing Now: Do one thing at a time and give it your full present attention. Have you ever noticed how stressed out you can get thinking about all the other things you have to do instead of giving the task in front of you your full attention?
2. Remind yourself: Create a poster with “What’s important NOW?” on it and place it somewhere as a constant reminder to focus on ONE thing NOW.
3. Get a daily overview: One client of mine had a projects spreadsheet which he reviewed daily to see what needed to get done. This allowed him to get an overview of his work and also made it easier for him to say NO when he was asked to take on extra work. It also stopped him getting sucked into doing other people’s jobs.
4. Breathe and break: Recognise the physical symptoms of when you are going into overwhelm. Take a break and breathe deeply.

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First of all, I am not going to begin this article by telling you about how important it is to eat properly, exercise regularly and to look after yourself. You know all that stuff already, don’t you? No, what I am going to give you are five things you can do to handle your stress,

Could I suggest first of all, that you practise these when you are NOT stressed? After all, the time to learn any new skill is BEFORE you need it, not WHEN you need it.

Be Here Now
I reckon that a major part of stress comes from the “what if” tape that plays every time we come across something that exceeds our perceived capacity. “What if I can’t handle this?” “What if I screw this up, I’ll lose my job?” Imagine yourself turning down the volume on the tape. Instead ask yourself…what is the one thing I have to do RIGHT NOW? Do it and forget about the rest. Repeat as necessary. Focus on doing this one thing as well as possible.

What Part of “No” Don’t You Understand?
There are times when you just have to say “No”. Begin today by saying No to small requests – things you do find it easy to say NO to. If you find it hard to say “No”, say “I’ll get back to you”. This will give you breathing space to decide if you can easily accommodate the other person. Practise this skill when you are NOT under pressure…

If your boss asks you to do something extra, ask him/her what other tasks will have to be left undone because you can’t do everything. You are not Superman/woman. (Really, you are not…haven’t you checked lately? And remember, even Superman wasn’t super all the time!)

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Life Story

Winifred Holtby was born in the latter part of the 19th century to a Yorkshire family. Her mother was the first woman county councilor of her area and a formidable figure. Winifred worked as a nurse in the First World War and then read History at Oxford. In the course of that study, she met Vera Brittain, and they established a strong deep friendship that lasted until Winifred died at the age of 37. After Oxford, they went to London to become writers and supported themselves by a mixture of teaching and journalism. The friendship was maintained throughout Vera’s marriage and Winifred’s travels. Winifred died at the age of 37 of Bright’s disease.

Why Do I Find Holtby Inspirational?

Winifred’s life embodied many of the contradictions and challenges faced by the modern woman. She was constantly drawn into her family’s struggles and as a single woman found herself “dumped” on a lot. Yet at the same time her strong creative side worked to write and create novels that are still being published (South Riding is a Virago Modern Classic) today. These novels are characterized by a wise compassionate view of humanity that seem to reflect the spirit of the woman herself During most of her life, she experienced the struggle of reconciling the creative, reformer and duty-driven side of her personalities of her life. At the end of her life she felt that she had reconciled these different dimensions through her art. She also worked tirelessly for the oppressed Africans of South Africa. Throughout this, she retained a sweetness, humor and wisdom that touched and inspired everyone she met. She was single but yet derived an immense happiness from the joys of her friends’ marriages and children.

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